The Fellowship In the 20th Century!
by Velossien
Summary: One day at the beginning of the Fellowships journey they stumble upon a door. This door leads onto a world different in many ways to them. It leads them to... THE 20TH CENTURY! AHHHHHHHHH.....hh...h... scary?


Disclaimer:The Lord of the Rings is of course not mine, I would never be able to come up with a legend like that. It belongs to Tolkien and family and publishers etc... but not me.  
  
Thanx for the reviews!  
  
One day, before the breaking of the fellowship, Gandalf, Boromir, Legolas, Aragorn, Merry , Pippin, Frodo, Sam and Gimli were walking along a plain. All of a sudden, out of the middle of nowhere a white sparkling door appeared. As the fellowship looked at the door the sparkling doorknob slowly turned and the door opened. Outside of the door a typical day in our century could be seen, speeding cars, a McDonalds sign gleaming, people hurrying. Pippin started toward the door, but Aragorn hold him back.  
  
"It is a trap, some evil is at works here" said Legolas, who, of course, was all ready aimed and was slowly pulling back the string on his bow.  
  
"No! Don't shoot!" cried Gandalf, but it was too late Legolas let go of the string and with a twang a arrow flitted through the air and through the open door.  
  
Spluck "Aggg... what the... an arrow... wow I never saw that one coming...." cried an unknown voice outside the door.  
  
"O my god, he just got shot by an arro.....w? Call an ambulance" shouted another voice outside the door. There was a lot of sirens and shouting and such, but it finally calmed down and the frenzy passed over.  
  
"Look what you did! Why do you do things like that! People outside that door aren't as calm as you and they kind of panic when an arrow flies through the air and hits someone!" cried Gandalf.  
  
"I am sorry" whispered Legolas. In the meantime Pippin had, unnoticed, snuck to the door and was looking out.  
  
"Can we go through? I'm really want to go, can we, can we, can we?" said Pippin.  
  
"I guess so, I do know my way around most places, this will be no different" said Gandalf, so the fellowship walked through the door and found themselves in the middle of a street with cars beeping at them. Gimli ran up to a car and started smashing it with his axe.  
  
"No Gimli, there is no need to kill the cars." said Gandalf.  
  
"You should watch your kids, old man" cried the man in the car.  
  
"I AM NOT A CHILD, I AM A DWARF!" shouted Gimli and he started toward the window of the car, but Aragorn took hold of him.  
  
"We will journey this way my friends." said Gandalf and the fellowship slowly walked across the road and up the side walk. On their way they passed a restaurant and the sweet smell of food wafered through the air.  
  
"FOOD!" cried Merry and Pippin at the same time, and they went running in. The rest of the fellowship followed. The restaurant was a barbecue buffet and the smells of hamburgers, pork and other meats lingered in the air. Gandalf, being the wizard he was, conjured up some money and bought each hobbit, elf, dwarf and man a lunch. The hobbits, Gimli, and men were piled high with all kinds of meats, while Legolas, not wanting to eat any meat, ate some bread.  
  
"Gandalf, are you sure they don't have any Lembas?" asked Legolas.  
  
"Yes, I am sure, they don't make many lembas around here." murmured Gandalf. Everyone except Legolas pigged out and left the restaurant just a little fatter (even Gandalf). The fellowship continued to travel up the road toward the hotel Gandalf had picked out. The hotel was magnificence, its gold shining doors led into a dazzling room filled with bellhops, flowers and people. It was one of the hotels that cost you 900 dollars to stay over night in. Of course Gandalf was able to get a room because he was wizard and he could conjure up money (a very handy talent), not only did he stay in the hotel, but in the presidential suite, cha-ching. The fellowship casually marched up the hallway, Legolas always in front and Gimli always in back, and finally made it to their suite. Gandalf took out the card key and swiped it through, beep, the light turned red, again he swiped it through, beep, the light turned red.  
  
"What the... come on, come on," beep, a red light, "work... WORK.... DAMN YOU, come onnnnn.... all I want is a green light." Beep, a red light, "NOoOoOo....." cried Gandalf, "why...why me.... sob, sob sniff, SNUCK, sob.."  
  
"Gandalf," said Frodo," are you sure you swiped the card through right?" Gandalf looked up at him, then at the card, then at the door lock, he got up swiped the card through the opposite way he had been swiping it and the light turned green.  
  
"Oh..." was all a embarrassed Gandalf could utter. The fellowship filed in, Frodo beaming a smile, Boromir and Aragorn shaking their heads, and Gandalf as red as an apple. As soon as they got in Merry walked over to the beds and sat on it, not knowing what it was. He started to sink into it (it was on of those special beds that form to your body and have no springs). Pippin seeing him sink into it started to freak.  
  
"Gandalf, save him, save him, the great cloth box is eating him... ahhhhhhhh...... help Merry, please help Merry..... AHHHHHHH!!!!" shouted Pippin, as he jumped around, grabbed his tiny sword that was about as big as a knife, and started to stab the bed. Merry of course was not panicking and was actually lying down and falling asleep.  
  
"Stop it Pippin, its a bed and a very comfortable one, a lot more comfortable than the ground, even more than the elves' bed, no offense Legolas." cried Merry. Legolas stood in the back of the room sobbing because he had taken some offense and was a little emotional.  
  
"Are you sure? I don't want to be attacked.. ok" said Pippin and he crawled onto the other bed, "Oh you are absolutely righ... zzzzz."  
  
"Thank god they are asleep I couldn't take them anymore, always running around, jumping, eating, annoying ME" said Boromir, GOD they never stop, don't they know they're old now, they're like 40 not 7 or 5."  
  
"Oh be quiet, you are the one who annoys us all, you're never right and you should not be in the fellowship at all." cried Aragorn.  
  
"No it is you who is the one who annoys, you should not be in the fellowship!" cried Boromir.  
  
"Gandalf and I have been leading this quest from the beginning and you are just sticking around to take the credit, you'll probably die or something. You have done nothing to help and have complained the whole time."  
  
"No it is you has complained, you are complaining right now about me..."  
  
"You know you are complaining right now, Aragorn" said Gimli.  
  
"Be quiet Gimli, don't even get me started on you." said Aragorn.  
  
"Can you all just shut up, I all ready have a headache and when I have a headache I don't look as pretty as I can." shouted Legolas.  
  
"Go away, you're just as bad, even WORSE than Boromir and Gimli together, you are actually the one who complains all the time, (in a mock voice) 'eww, my hairs dirty' 'oh my god is that a wrinkle', oh no I broke a nail', 'do I look fat?'"  
  
"I don't say 'do I look fat?', I have never said that, not once. At least I like to be clean, not like you. You are and always will be a big, hairy, guy who smells like you've never seen a bar of soap."  
  
"Come on Sam, lets go check out this... um... what is it... hotel."said Frodo.  
  
"Ok, Mister Frodo." said Sam.  
  
"WE'RE COMING TOO!" cried Merry and Pippin, who had woken up during the fight. The hobbits slowly walked out of the door and into the hallway.  
  
"Oh wait.." said Pippin, he walked back into the room to the sleeping Gandalf, who had been so bored he had fallen asleep, and pickpocketed the key and some money from his pocket. Then he ran out to his friends and they walked down the hall. The hobbits wandered around the hotel and finally came to the pool. Children were swimming and splashing in the pool while extremely bored adults watched them. The hobbit walked to the edge of the pool and almost jumped in, but the lifeguard stopped and told them to get an adult and some bathing suits.  
  
"But we're adults!" Frodo cried.  
  
"Not to me you aren't" said the guard and he sent them away. The hobbits really wanted to go swimming so they went to their room grabbing a wheel chair on the way, hoisted the still sleeping Gandalf into the wheelchair and wheeled him to the pool there they bought some suits and dived into the pool.  
  
"Isn't this fun, Sam... Sam?" said Frodo. At this point of time Sam was floating near the bottom of the pool because as everyone had forgotten, he could not swim. It took Pippin, Merry, Frodo, the lifeguard, a bunch of kids and even a few adults to pick up Sam from the bottom, even in the water where things seem to weigh less.  
  
"My god Sam, is a diet too hard to ask of you?" said Merry, trying to catch his breath.  
  
Spluck, blah, ugh, cough, cough, ack. "I think we should get out of the pool, I don't think I could survive Sam drowning again." said Frodo, and the hobbits got out, dried off, and walked back to the room, forgetting all about Gandalf sleeping at the pool area. The hobbits swiped the card key through the lock, and the door opened.  
  
"Why can't Gandalf figure out the simplest things." whispered Pippin. It was then they all remembered Gandalf. They all ran down to the pool and started to wheel him back to the room when they came upon a candy vending machine.  
  
"Behold, a glass beast with food inside of it." cried Pippin and he took out his sword, smashed the glass and the hobbits took as much candy they could carry, then they started back to there room eating it. Gandalf still slept on, underneath the candy they had poured onto him. Finally they got to the room and went in.  
  
"Boromir, you are an ugly, freak, who doesn't know when to stop and who will never succeed in anything in YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!" cried Aragorn, who was still fighting with Gimli, and Boromir. Legolas had given up and was in the bathroom turning on all the facets, and flushing the toilet over and over again, totally absorbed in the wonder of the water swirling around and around. He started to watch the toilet closely and stared at the water going around. Bang! Legolas had gotten dizzy, fallen down, and hit his head on the tub. The hobbits looked into the bathroom and saw him lying down on the ground.  
  
"Is he all right?" questioned Sam.  
  
"I'm sure he's fine, he always is." answered Gandalf, who had finally woken up, unnoticed, "and I would prefer not to be wheeled around without my permission or covered under candy. Let us go and explore the city, and leave these people here." He and the hobbits fled out of the door and onto the street.  
  
"Which way shall we go, Gandalf, toward McDonald's house or toward the Burger King's house?" asked Frodo.  
  
"We shall journey on the way of the Burger King." cried Gandalf and they ran down the street while people stared at them and backed away. On the way they came upon a book store.  
  
"Please lets go in." said Frodo.  
  
"OK, but only for a moment" replied Gandalf. The fellowship minus Boromir, Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn, walked into the store and stared at all the books. They split up and each picked a book. Gandalf picked Doing Simple Things for Dummies, Frodo got The Lord of the Rings, Sam got How to Grow the Best Damn Garden in the Whole Freak'n World, Pippin got The Lord of the Rings Picture Book and Merry picked How to be Friends with an Idiot. The books they all picked helped them out a lot in their later years, especially Merry.  
  
"Is there anything left to see in this town?" asked Pippin, who was very bored.  
  
"Nothing that YOU would like to see." said Gandalf. "Lets us turn back and try to find a way home to middle earth." he said and they turned and strolled back to the hotel, and to their door.  
  
"I'll unlock the door, Gandalf." Frodo said and Gandalf gave him the key reluctantly. The door opened and they walked into the room. Aragorn was looking out of the window and down at the ground. When he heard the door open he looked back and saw Gandalf.  
  
"I didn't do it, Gimli pushed him." Aragorn quickly said.  
  
"No I did not he just kind of tripped and fell out the window." Gimli said, defending himself.  
  
"WHAT HAPPENED!!" yelled Gandalf. "WHERE'S BOROMIR?" Gandalf looked at Aragorn and Gimli's faces suspiciously and then at the window. Slowly he walked over to the window, followed by the hobbits, while Aragorn and Gimli backed away.  
  
"Oh my god, What the heck! I shouldn't of left you three alone, I knew something would happen. Did you push him out?! Did you?!!!!! ANSWER ME!!" screamed Gandalf.  
  
Frodo went up to the window and looked down. Boromir was lying on he ground, his neck twisted in a strange way. Pippin, Merry, and Sam looked down, saw him and just back away muttering to themselves.  
  
"That's ok." Frodo said.  
  
"What?" asked Gandalf.  
  
"That's ok." Frodo repeated.  
  
"How is that ok? A man just died!" cried Gandalf.  
  
"He supposed to die. In the first part of The Lord of the Rings he dies defending Pippin and Merry then they get taken anyway." said Frodo.  
  
"........oh.... ok then." replied Gandalf. "I guess its ok then. We'll just say he died defending Pippin and Merry. OK?!" Everyone nodded.  
  
"Are we leaving him there?" asked Gimli.  
  
"Yes." replied Gandalf.  
  
"Can we leave Legolas? Please...." questioned Gimli, hopefully.  
  
"NO!" shouted Gandalf, "Someone go wake him up, we're leaving." Sam went to wake up Legolas and the fellowship, except for Boromir, left the room and started up the road. Gandalf led them into a dark alley where no one else was and led them up to a wall.  
  
"Gandalf that is a wall, not a door." said Frodo.  
  
"I know that, I'm not an idiot!" snapped Gandalf, who was very annoyed with Frodo right now. He tapped on the wall two times and said an elvish word and a outline of a door appeared in a glimmer of blue. Gandalf said more elvish words and the door opened leading to middle earth where they had been before, on the plain. Gandalf slowly led the way and was followed by Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas who was stumbling because he couldn't see that clearly. The door disappeared behind them and they found themselves in the plains.  
  
"Gandalf, how did you know there was a door there." asked Frodo.  
  
"I didn't, I made it appear there." said Gandalf.  
  
"So it was you who brought us into that world! Why would you do that! You have killed Boromir and Legolas has been injured in the head. Why Gandalf, WHY?!" cried Frodo.  
  
"I did it because.... because.... I hate this frick'n world, here you take a bath once a week, there you take one everyday, they have tv, they have phones, they have McDonalds, they have everything you need in little centers called shopping centers, here you have to go all over to get everything you need. Plus the people here are annoying always saying blah son of blah or blah father of blah. MY GOD CAN YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE H*@# UP! I'M SO SICK OF YOU ALL! ARGGGGGGG!!! I CAN NOT STAY, GOODBYE!!" screamed Gandalf.  
  
He opened the portal again and flew out into the world of ours never to be seen again byhis friends until he got sued for something and had to flee back to middle earth. 


End file.
